Pregnancies, cute doctors and ignorant idiots

So I went for my prelim discussion at the hospital about my leg on Tues. I was a little bit apprehensive I must admit as I have no idea about what is going to happen :( However I had THE CUTEST student doctor with me which made it all better. Bless his heart (I think he was my age roughly) he was shadowing my doc, who is an army colonel :s and he was really nervous, but I did get to spend like 45 mins in his company, just randomly talking before big doctor came in. Shame its so professional, but even then I don't think I'd ever have the confidence in myself to give a random bloke my number, I probably wont even see him again :(

I got sooo fed up at uni today too! I am sick of ignorant people talking through lectures, it's really not fair on those of us who want to listen and learn. I think the lecturers are getting fed up with it as well. But I shall be on placement as of next week, so I won't have to deal with them thankfully.

Oh and today I found out my friend from college was pregnant. Strange thing was she wasn't as excited as I thought she would have been :s the other really random thing is that her fiancé is a Mormon (not that there is anything wrong with that) but all through college he was like ''I don't believe in sex before marriage'' so I somehow don't think he stuck to that! Anyway it's made me go all depressed this afternoon. I'm not jealous of who she is with or that she is pregnant, but I feel like I am missing out on that part of life, I mean I'm busy with work and uni and the girls, but I feel like I'm being left behind on the relationship front and still living at home doesn't help either.

I'm sure I'll be fine in a few days though as always

Get me out of here!

I want...... no correction i need to move out of home. I am so fed up of snide comments and little niggly things happening all the time. For example i mentioned that i want another dog and i pretty much got my head ripped off for even suggesting it :(

Problem is i cant really afford to move out atm, i suppose if i crunched the figures hard enough i could but i would have to be SO strict with myself. Plus there is the added downside of if i had to rent, finding a place that would let me have Dots there too. Moving out without her is not an option!

Of course this is never going to happen, not for a while yet anyway. What i really need is to either win the lottery or find a nice man, but neither of those will happen, so i best start saving lol

Emotions

  Urgh i hate emotions, whoever invented them needs punishing as mine have been all over the shop today. I woke up fine and dandy, and then it all came crashing down. I finally got my letter for my appointment about my leg, but i had an extra page attached saying i needed to have proof that i am basically allowed to live i the UK!!! It's ridiculous!
  Basically my surname originates from the Ukraine when my grandad came over during the war, but now because Britain is such a soft touch when it comes to letting people into the country, everyone presumes i am Polish. Iv had people speak Polish and Russian to me without questioning it, someone saying it's wrong that i have my surname and yet am not Russian, the art technician at uni asked me to translate something due to her presuming, my sis had a job application turned down because of it (it got resolved thanks to my dad) oh and even the doctors surgery asked how long id been living in the UK when i moved back home and had to register in another surgery.
  I know most people are going to say ''chill out it's just a name'' but until you have lived with people presuming you are something you are not it's hard to understand how frustrating and upsetting it is. I dont want to have to change my name but i think i am going to have to, just to make all these little things easier and less stressful.

  On the plus side though i had a lovely walk with Dots this morning in the woods, even though it was ridiculously muddy and i fell over near enough 10 times (i must invest in a new pair of wellies with a decent grip) and i'v got my first 3 fish for my tank :) I choose some Zebra fish as they are easy to look after and they were cheap too lol

8/2/11

Have you ever felt like you just want to scream and cry? Well today that is exactly how i have been. I just feel like im spiralling down into a hole. I dont even know where my life is going anymore. Of course all these negative feelings have not been helped by the fact iv been ill for the past 3 days. However i cannot afford to be ill, so iv been battling on with work, and had my first day back at uni, which i managed to get through successfully without feeling too bad. I get really worried when i get into patterns like this as depression runs in my family, and so far i have been the only one (out of at least 3 generations) to not suffer with it. I struggle though as i find it incredibly hard to talk to anyone about how i feel, even with the more positive aspects of life. Writing things down sometimes helps, but not always. At least i have a routine to keep me going and the Dotster. I cant really not keep to a routine when it comes to her otherwise she moans and sulks.

Anyway i am going to shoot and do some reading for uni. The first topic of choice is all about the psychology of education, so we get to start by looking at theorists like Freud, Skinner, Pavlov etc

Kinda hoping the stuff i choose to read is a little bit boring, i could really do with a decent nights sleep

Night for now

Loz xxx

Birthday

So today was my birthday :s and to top it all off i have felt rubbish all day, i was so close to phoning in sick but it's a good thing i didn't as Hazel phoned in sick, so it was just me and Stuart all day. So we were pretty hectic all day :( On the plus side it made me not really think about today which was good)

I was a bit disappointed however in that the one person i really wanted to hear from didn't even send me a text. Oh well as from now it's his loss.

I finally start uni tomorrow, which will be good, it's been too long a gap, i almost wish they would have us in 5 days a week and only make us do a 2 year course. I really need to work out what i'm going to do with it once i finished though. It would be ace if i could find someway to combine the Educational aspect with animals in some way. Me thinks i shall have to do some research.

Thats all for tonight. Ciao for now

Loz xx

Link

Here be thee link to my RAW feeding blog, just incase anyone is interested:

http://raw-switch.blogspot.com/

Arghhhhhh

Men grr i hate them! Why do they never text back ever! Or why do they change their tone on you??? I will never understand, so for the time being i shall give up on men.

Anyway rant over :P

I bought my fish tank on saturday, woo exciting times XD well it's all set up and running for the week, hopefully next week it will be sufficiently settled and have no rubbish in it, then i can start to add my fishies :D

Apart from that nothing else has happened worth discussing. Oh i shall be writing a new blog alongside this one as to how Dottie is coping with her RAW diet. So i'll post a link up for that too.

Oh it's my birthday tomorrow as well :'( i'm dreading it as i will be officially old.

Off now before i start crying about how old i'm getting

Loz xxx