Thursday, 3 March 2011

Pregnancies, cute doctors and ignorant idiots

So I went for my prelim discussion at the hospital about my leg on Tues. I was a little bit apprehensive I must admit as I have no idea about what is going to happen :( However I had THE CUTEST student doctor with me which made it all better. Bless his heart (I think he was my age roughly) he was shadowing my doc, who is an army colonel :s and he was really nervous, but I did get to spend like 45 mins in his company, just randomly talking before big doctor came in. Shame its so professional, but even then I don't think I'd ever have the confidence in myself to give a random bloke my number, I probably wont even see him again :(

I got sooo fed up at uni today too! I am sick of ignorant people talking through lectures, it's really not fair on those of us who want to listen and learn. I think the lecturers are getting fed up with it as well. But I shall be on placement as of next week, so I won't have to deal with them thankfully.

Oh and today I found out my friend from college was pregnant. Strange thing was she wasn't as excited as I thought she would have been :s the other really random thing is that her fiancĂ© is a Mormon (not that there is anything wrong with that) but all through college he was like ''I don't believe in sex before marriage'' so I somehow don't think he stuck to that! Anyway it's made me go all depressed this afternoon. I'm not jealous of who she is with or that she is pregnant, but I feel like I am missing out on that part of life, I mean I'm busy with work and uni and the girls, but I feel like I'm being left behind on the relationship front and still living at home doesn't help either.

I'm sure I'll be fine in a few days though as always

Monday, 21 February 2011

Get me out of here!

I want...... no correction i need to move out of home. I am so fed up of snide comments and little niggly things happening all the time. For example i mentioned that i want another dog and i pretty much got my head ripped off for even suggesting it :(

Problem is i cant really afford to move out atm, i suppose if i crunched the figures hard enough i could but i would have to be SO strict with myself. Plus there is the added downside of if i had to rent, finding a place that would let me have Dots there too. Moving out without her is not an option!

Of course this is never going to happen, not for a while yet anyway. What i really need is to either win the lottery or find a nice man, but neither of those will happen, so i best start saving lol

Saturday, 12 February 2011


  Urgh i hate emotions, whoever invented them needs punishing as mine have been all over the shop today. I woke up fine and dandy, and then it all came crashing down. I finally got my letter for my appointment about my leg, but i had an extra page attached saying i needed to have proof that i am basically allowed to live i the UK!!! It's ridiculous!
  Basically my surname originates from the Ukraine when my grandad came over during the war, but now because Britain is such a soft touch when it comes to letting people into the country, everyone presumes i am Polish. Iv had people speak Polish and Russian to me without questioning it, someone saying it's wrong that i have my surname and yet am not Russian, the art technician at uni asked me to translate something due to her presuming, my sis had a job application turned down because of it (it got resolved thanks to my dad) oh and even the doctors surgery asked how long id been living in the UK when i moved back home and had to register in another surgery.
  I know most people are going to say ''chill out it's just a name'' but until you have lived with people presuming you are something you are not it's hard to understand how frustrating and upsetting it is. I dont want to have to change my name but i think i am going to have to, just to make all these little things easier and less stressful.

  On the plus side though i had a lovely walk with Dots this morning in the woods, even though it was ridiculously muddy and i fell over near enough 10 times (i must invest in a new pair of wellies with a decent grip) and i'v got my first 3 fish for my tank :) I choose some Zebra fish as they are easy to look after and they were cheap too lol

Tuesday, 8 February 2011


Have you ever felt like you just want to scream and cry? Well today that is exactly how i have been. I just feel like im spiralling down into a hole. I dont even know where my life is going anymore. Of course all these negative feelings have not been helped by the fact iv been ill for the past 3 days. However i cannot afford to be ill, so iv been battling on with work, and had my first day back at uni, which i managed to get through successfully without feeling too bad. I get really worried when i get into patterns like this as depression runs in my family, and so far i have been the only one (out of at least 3 generations) to not suffer with it. I struggle though as i find it incredibly hard to talk to anyone about how i feel, even with the more positive aspects of life. Writing things down sometimes helps, but not always. At least i have a routine to keep me going and the Dotster. I cant really not keep to a routine when it comes to her otherwise she moans and sulks.

Anyway i am going to shoot and do some reading for uni. The first topic of choice is all about the psychology of education, so we get to start by looking at theorists like Freud, Skinner, Pavlov etc

Kinda hoping the stuff i choose to read is a little bit boring, i could really do with a decent nights sleep

Night for now

Loz xxx

Monday, 7 February 2011


So today was my birthday :s and to top it all off i have felt rubbish all day, i was so close to phoning in sick but it's a good thing i didn't as Hazel phoned in sick, so it was just me and Stuart all day. So we were pretty hectic all day :( On the plus side it made me not really think about today which was good)

I was a bit disappointed however in that the one person i really wanted to hear from didn't even send me a text. Oh well as from now it's his loss.

I finally start uni tomorrow, which will be good, it's been too long a gap, i almost wish they would have us in 5 days a week and only make us do a 2 year course. I really need to work out what i'm going to do with it once i finished though. It would be ace if i could find someway to combine the Educational aspect with animals in some way. Me thinks i shall have to do some research.

Thats all for tonight. Ciao for now

Loz xx

Sunday, 6 February 2011


Here be thee link to my RAW feeding blog, just incase anyone is interested:


Men grr i hate them! Why do they never text back ever! Or why do they change their tone on you??? I will never understand, so for the time being i shall give up on men.

Anyway rant over :P

I bought my fish tank on saturday, woo exciting times XD well it's all set up and running for the week, hopefully next week it will be sufficiently settled and have no rubbish in it, then i can start to add my fishies :D

Apart from that nothing else has happened worth discussing. Oh i shall be writing a new blog alongside this one as to how Dottie is coping with her RAW diet. So i'll post a link up for that too.

Oh it's my birthday tomorrow as well :'( i'm dreading it as i will be officially old.

Off now before i start crying about how old i'm getting

Loz xxx

Friday, 4 February 2011

So Spensive :(

Well i fianlly had the last part of the work done on my teeth. I had a root filling done on one of my broken teeth. crazy thing was i had no anaesthetic at all while he worked it :s Apparently this was due to the tooth being dead, my poor tooth :( mental note here people, ever fall off a horse and land chin first while biting your lip as you will have to go through this lol

The whole thing cost me 200 quid!!!! Thank heavens for student loans haha. Oh well at least it's been sorted and hopefully i will no longer suffer with absecces. That i can tell you is no fun whatsoever.

Still no news on my appointment with my specialist, so i rang the doctor's and got told ''give it another week'' i just want to know whats going to happen, i had a dream the other night the only thing they could do would be to amputate my leg. I think i worry too much.

On a brighter note i got a lot of stuff for Dots today, and i got an ace deal on some ox tail, although she wont be getting that for at least a month, while her stomach settles to this new regime. Just need to dig out the blender and get some fruit and veggies in and then i shall blend away. Oh speaking of this i thought it would be interesting to keep a separate blog about the whole RAW thing and take photos of her majesty to see if any changes can be seen, as we do it. So i shall start that next week :)

Anyway thats all for tonight, bit of a boring day really.

Loz xxx

Thursday, 3 February 2011


This past week has been mental. Between work, uni results, doctors and dentists, oh and not forgetting the hounds, iv barely had time to breathe.

So an update on all thats happened.
1)Im waiting on an appointment to go see a specialist about my leg, the varicose veins i have appear to be growing in  number and the two on the front of my leg look bigger :( thankfully i will not have to pay for any treatment due to my freaky condition, (apparently varicose vein treatment is classed as cosmetic by the NHS so you dont get it free) but it looks like i may have to have another operation to strip them out. First of all though i get to go through loads of tests again, and no doubt have all the newbie doctors looking at me too (that always happens :s)

2)I got my uni results for the art section of my course. I got a 2:1, 2 x 2:2's and i failed one by one mark!!! Was not happy i can tell you. On the plus side i can retake that module and now i have a better understanding of what it entails, so fingers crossed i ace it next time. Sticking with the uni theme i finally start back next week YAY i have been so bored, it's been unreal.

3)Work is going so well, i finally feel like i am getting the hang of everything and am able to help customers easier (especially when it comes to dogs :P) Oh and i am getting a small tropical fish tank, just a small one but i believe that owning animals and experiencing how to look after them helps to deliver better customer service. Well thats my theory and im sticking to it haha.

4) Hound wise, Summer is still plodding on bless her, but the cold weather has been playing havoc with her joints :( Millie is still slightly sore in her mouth but she is getting better and is now willing to attack a kong in her usual manner. Dottie well she is still Dots, an absolute nutter, but i love her. Her agility is coming on in leaps and bounds, she is getting so much more confident on the contact equipment, and is starting to work away from me better, which is a real good thing as there is no way in the world i can kep up with her, even with studded trainers lol.

5) The raw feeding is definitely going ahead :D I just need to get my arse into gear and defrost the freezer and buy all my equipment i need. I was dead chuffed to, i rang my local butcher who told me he could only order the RMB's i need in 5kg lots! Which is ridiculous as i just do not have access to that much freezer space, however upon searching i found a smaller butcher in the next town who can regularly order me them in much much smaller batches (YAY) So i get my first lot on friday, which i havn't timed well really as i have the dentist on friday too, so i'm probably going to still be numb from the anaesthetic :s

So there we go quick update for you all. Bound to be more stuff for me to detail you all with soon enough. Anyways ofskies for now, iv got the pack to walk and i'm going to go scope out fish stuff today as well :D


Wednesday, 26 January 2011

2 in 1

Ok so this one is gonna be about yesterday and today really as the stupid internet crashed last night and didn't work again till this morning.

So yesterday, i had the lovely experience of visiting the dentist, lets just bear in mind iv not been for about 5 years, when i smashed my front teeth falling off a horse :s and it wasn't as bad as i thought, i am going to have some work done, but nothing as bad as what it could have been.

Apart from that i had a really geeky boring day, playing on the Xbox, i am currently addicted to Red Dead Redemption, and Fable III, and as i don't often have that much free time, i tend to get absorbed into my games for a whole day at a time, whoops ;)

Today was a run of the mill day as well. Work was pretty uneventful, oh apart from finding one of the hamster cages covered in blood and a very poorly lil hamster inside it, poor thing was covered in blood and shaking, so i think the poor thing was suffering from shock. He got moved to the quarantine area but we don't think he is gonna make it. Thats the problem with smaller animals the slightest shock to their system and they just dont have the strength to survive.

The new soon to be manager popped in today too, he seems like a really nice guy, which i going to be nice. It will make work so much easier if that is the case.

Oh something exciting about yesterday i forgot to mention. Long story but i'm toying with putting her majesty onto a BARF diet (Bones and Raw Food) for several reasons really, one because she can be such a fussy mare at times with her food and two i will know exactly what she is easting all the time. The only worry i had was that she would not really know how to eat a bone, so i went out and bought some chicken wings on a whim to see if she would eat them, and after a lil bit of tug of war with it to get her interest in it and for her to realise what it was, she loved it!!! She must have been licking her chops for half an hour after. So that has put my mind at rest :D Just means now, i need to start stocking up on meat and bones as i need to freeze it for at least a month before she gets to chow down on it, i also need to invest in a blender, knives etc as i dont think mum, or Lydia (dad not so much) will appreciate me using the normal stuff on raw meat lol. I'm kind of excited about it, and this will sound incredibly strange but there was something strangely satisfying about watching her chew on the bones, it just looked and sounded right (you will learn that yes i am very crazy :P)

So thats all for tonight, no doubt tomorrow i will either be extremely happy or extremely sad depending upon how my results go for my art side of my degree, but for now i need to find something to keep me busy, so i dont think about it :(

So for the time being, night night world xx

Monday, 24 January 2011


Me :P

Well i have been meaning to start one of these for a while, and i have finally got round to it.

So a little about me then.My name is Laura, although my good friends call me Loz, i am 24, but i like to think i am what is called an old soul, i still have my immature moments though. I don't enjoy going out and getting hammered, although a quiet drink in a pub with friends i do enjoy. I dont have a lot of guys on the go at once, i am still trying to find Mr Right, (although he is taking his time about it lol) i have an amazing group of friends, whom i met by chance, although the downside is we don't live in the same bloody county!

I have a rare condition in my leg, which has led me to having confidence issues, although i am better than i used to be.

I am a firm believer in fate, and that things happen for a reason. A few events in my life have led me to this belief.

I am also completely animal mad :P

I'm currently a ''mature'' student, studying Education Studies and Art. Im halfway through my second year, with another 1 1/2 - 2 1/2 years to go (depending if i stay on to study a PGCE or not) Before uni, i worked with horses and although i loved it, i got stuck in several ruts, and had some people really let me down, so i decided a career change was needed, hence the move towards teaching.

I have just started an ace new part time job, though working in a pet store at my local garden centre. It is finally going to allow me to pay off some debt i owe my parents, but still have enough spare money, to do more and save towards finally moving out.

I still live at home, although i do desperately want to move out, i just cannot afford it. So for the time being my parents are stuck with me for a few more years, until i am in a financial situation to move out, and then i hopefully intend to pay them back for everything with a really long holiday somewhere.

Um lets see, my likes. I absolutely love drawing and painting, although i enjoy more realist work, than modern contemporary stuff. I mean how is a shape painted onto a canvas meant to be called art, it just makes no sense to me at all!  Another of my hobbies is reading, i love fantasy and thrillers more than anything, especially the sorts that keep you guessing. I just never have time to read as much as i like to nowadays :(
I am also a bit of a geek, and enjoy playing computer games, the Xbox, and the Wii :s

The other main love in my life (this is where you all think i'm crazy) is my dog. She is a 16 month old Border Collie (although if you want to be technical she is not pedigree so she is actually classed as a Working Sheepdog) She came into my life when she was 8 weeks old, and she has easily been the best £250 i have ever spent. We already had two other dogs, Summer and Millie (who supposedly belong to my sisters) but the bond between me and my girl is on another level. It is probably due to her breed, but we seem to be so similar it is almost uncanny. We both act crazy a times, love walking, learning new things and much more. She also has this uncanny ability to look at me and almost be able to read my mind. We currently attend agility training which has helped to build our bond even more as she has to trust me, in what i tell her to do when she is not directly beside me. Hopefully *touch wood* we will soon be ready to start competing.

So there we go, bit of a long introduction, but hey ho. Hopefully this blog is going to allow people to see into all aspects of my life from the serious sides of my studies and medical problems, to the crazy side of me especially when it comes to my animals, especially my Dotster.

So goodnight for now

Loz xxx